Success Secret: The Lazy Pause That Fuels You

I’m sitting on the phone with my banktransferred around, dropped, reestablished, now on hold for over 35 minutes. What I really want to be doing is writing on the importance of relaxing. How appropriate. I get the chance to learn how to do this now while listening to telephone classicalon-hold music and doing the intensely unpleasantwait for service dance. Life can be so ironic. Success rate for call? About 6 on a scale of 1-10.

What does it mean to relax? My husband and I went to Asheville to relax after an exceptionally stressful month. We had a delightful time hiking 15 miles, viewing art, eating, driving along the Blue Ridge Parkway As we were leaving the Grove Park Inn I noticed people lounging out back watching the sunset, drinks in hand just sitting and looking at the mountains. I pointed to Dave and said,Oh look at them. Let’s learn how to do that. Four days later I was still recovering from our busy, though enjoyable weekend. While we were able to find relief from the emotional and mental stress of the past month, we increased the tension in our bodies. We did a lot of fun things, but didn’t give ourselves time to justBe.

Many of us tend to view stress as emotional or mental, not realizing how much the body takes on when we go through intense periods of work, relationship issues, learning or other stressful times. We expect to be physically tired after running a marathon, but may not realize how much tension our body has absorbed after a mentally or emotionally stressful period in our lives.

We’ve been taught that when we move slowly, or are inactive we’re weak, feeble or listless. Yet, every thing and every other living being idles. My car can’t run constantly. It needs to park or to idle. My dog sleeps by my side for hours while I work. After eating a lion may rest for a week. Even hummingbirds come to an almost dead stop to rest between flights. Every other animal understands that without proper rest we wear down and don’t perform properly. Performance is balanced with refueling and rest. But, many of us humans believe in pushing. Only humans move full speed all of the time, and our performance and joy suffer the consequences.

My physical therapist said:You don’t need to push to fatigue. I get the concept. Now how do I stop? Here are some tips that have helped me to relax, enjoy myself AND stay effective:

  • Breathe. Seriously. Notice that you may not be breathing all of the time. Stress causes you to stop.
  • Don’t Rush. Rushing adds stress and weakens us in many ways. Without rushing I still get to where I need to be and feel better when I get there.
  • Decrease performance expectations and therefore anxiety. Mistakes happen. Not everything gets done when planned. It’s OK.
  • Look around. I’m in a business club. I’m looking at the furniture and the paintings. Outside I’ll notice the landscaping and other people. Be more present by noticing all that’s around.
  • Take time to relax. For example, sit a minute or even several after eating. Pause between tasks and events.
  • Walk slower. Or, put a bounce in your step if you decide to move quickly.

    • A client of mine wrote that she is now enjoying her life more because she’s slowing down. She remarked:I am stopping myself when I think I am doing too much at work. I am also taking more time just to “be.I lazily walk back from my yoga class instead of power walking home. I’m adapting a new word into my vocabulary:Lazy.Relaxing isn’t doing it for me. Sitting and slowing down aren’t built intorelaxing.Lazy is the hammer that I need to realize that moving slowly at times and easing up is essential.

    I’m taking out a new lease on life. I’m adding more value into my contract by releasing the pressure valve learning to live with ease. Ah, I feel the pressure clouds lifting already and, yes, I’m smiling.

    If you’d like assistance with transforming your life email me atdebhill@theAwarenessInitiative.com

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    Copyright Deborah Hill 2009. All Rights Reserved.