Dealing with a Difficult Co-Worker

The work environment offers many opportunities for stressful situations too much work for too little hours, demanding clients and customers, bosses who can be unclear in their requests highlight just a few of the issues employees face.

One of the most under-acknowledged and overlooked areas however is an employee’s need to deal with other difficult co-workers. The recent tragic murder at Yale University brings this issue to the forefront in a very disturbing way.

Often supervisors and managers don’t want to deal with someone who is difficult, or don’t know how to deal with them. This can leave an employee wondering what to do next and whether they have to leave their job because of a difficult relationship.

It’s beyond the scope of this article to deal with tragic situations where an employee may require psychological counseling or legal intervention. However, a manager can help their staff to deal with ordinary difficult co-workers and colleagues in order to prevent a difficult situation from escalating.

Mostdifficult people, unless they are dealing with significant psychological issues, become difficult because of either the environment they are in, their own feelings of inadequacy or lack of self-worth, faulty communication resulting in frustration or a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness in their work.

When a manager confronts a difficult person, there are many things that can be done to prevent additional problems. As a start, the manager needs to look at:

• Is this person’s role clearly defined? Do they know definitely what is required of them and what success looks like in their role?
• Does this person receive regular updates and communication about how they are doing with specific reference to situations and events i.e. not a global statement ofyou are doing well but rather activities linked to the success in their role?
• Is the environment structured in a way that this person has the ability to do their job well? For example, are priorities set for the employee? Is enough time allotted to complete important tasks?
• Is the person behaviorally a fit for the role? Has the manager performed a profile on the employee to know that the natural skills sets are right for the requirements of the job?
• Does the manager encourage open dialogue? Does the employee have a place to go to make suggestions, discuss problems or brainstorm?
  Many times an employee is difficult because they arestuck and unable to make necessary change happen. This can create frustration, anger and depression which often leads to employees acting out with their colleagues and co-workers.

Before the manager tells the staff tojust deal with it, it would be prudent to consider this list and see whether there are structural, communication or other issues that could be resolved leading to a more supportive and open environment for all staff.