Manage Your Emotions at Work

Have you heard the saying “Don’t take your private life to work”, and maybe experienced days when you realized that separating the two can be difficult? Anything that makes a strong impact on our lives, whether it be work related or private, it’s going to be with us whatever we are doing and wherever we are, for example: divorce, financial problems, health issues, trouble with a co-worker or a bully boss, etc. We take it home and talk about it, we take it to work and grump about it well, some of us.

The problem is when we erupt and lose control at work which is neither the time nor place for emotional meltdowns. Maybe you are lucky and have sympathetic workmates and an understanding Boss, but if you are dealing with people who would rather see your head on a plate than tolerate your emotional outbursts, there are some things YOU can do before too much damage is done.

1. Identify the source of your problem. You need to know what’s really wrong before you can fix it.

2. If it’s work related, speak to your Manager and consider your work situation. Maybe it is possible to change your work tasks, or maybe you want to try a different job or department altogether. Maybe you want a career change. Whatever the issue is, it won’t go away by ignoring it.

3. If your problem is home-related, utilize a little self discipline at work your workmates are not responsible for your private problems and do not deserve to be ‘grumped’ at just because you feel rotten. Is it fair on them? Would you like it if Fred from Accounts took it out on you because he was going through a divorce? No, you wouldn’t.

4. If it isn’t a specific work or home related issue, maybe you are simply the victim of stress. Stress doesn’t only result from major life challenges or dramas; small things can build up, such as too many people placing too many demands on you, one too many disappointments you have been forced to swallow due to other people’s thoughtlessness or lack of planning, etc. Stress can display itself physically and emotionally, and many a regretted outburst has stress as its source.

5. Take steps to relieve your stress. Learn relaxation techniques. Take regular breaks. Stretch. Walk. Learn breathing techniques to help calm you. Consider relaxation and meditation tapes.

6. Learn to say no. People will only take advantage of you if you let them. It’s not possible to please everybody all the time anyway, so why stress trying! Nobody is perfect. Get over it.

7. Learn ways to express yourself without losing self control. Learn how to be assertive, not aggressive. Try to react to others rationally and not emotionally. Take deep breaths before you speak.

8. If you can view things from a different perspective, you can more easily control your emotions. If others are seeing roses and sunshine, and you can only see thorns and clouds, remember every cloud has a silver lining look for your silver lining and try and be happy for that, knowing that winter never lasts forever and your summer is just around the corner.

Ultimately, the choice is yours whether you look for reasons to rationalize your misery and grumpiness that you will use to justify inflicting it on everyone around you or whether you decide life is too short, and one way or another you will find a way to keep your chin up simply because it feels better to be happy than to be miserable!

Terri Levine, Ph.D., CEO of the Coach Institute, Professional Business Coach and keynote speaker is also the author of over a dozen books on Business Success, Marketing, Selling and Coaching, mentor to some of the world’s most successful business owners and sales professionals, featured in over 50 International News Publications, advisor to General Electric, and seen regularly on television shows around the world. She can be contacted via the web site http://www.TerriLevine.com or by telephone: 877-401-6165.