Smart Women Share Their Pearls.

Relationships are all around us, from our family members to fellow colleagues to customers and to our friends. There are three easy things you can do today to instantly change the relationships in your life.

Listening
When was the last time you really felt you were heard? Many of us do not know how to really listen, to really hear what the other is saying. We are so busy with the chatter in our own heads, preparing what we are going to say at the first opportunity, that we do not hear what is being said. Therefore, the focus is on us and not on the one who is speaking. Take the time to lean in and hear every word that is being said. Let it sink in. You may be very surprised by what you hear.

Asking
Asking good question lets the speaker know you are engaged and interested. What do you ask? Be curious about what they are saying and telling you about. Make no assumption about what you know about the subject matter. Stay away from questions that start off with why. This one word makes people defensive and they’ll instinctively feel the need to justify their actions or beliefs.

Making Time
Relationships need attention. If you don’t make time or room in your busy schedule to grow any relationship, they will shatter and crumble. People need to know they are cared for and wanted. Think of how an ignored puppy acts up.

Summary
If your desire is to have better relationships with those around you, such as your children or customers, then it will require a bit of effort on your part. If you implement any or all of the above steps you will be amazed at how the relationships around you will begin to change and grow. Be the first to make the changes you would like to see in others. By doing so, you will create a standard that you would want to live by. Smart Women Share Their Pearls.19675Smart Women Share Their Pearls.One of the birthdaytraditions in our family is when a member gets to a certain age, they share onepearl of wisdom for each decade they have lived.

Today is my 50th birthday! The five decades behind me were all wonderful and as I reflect on each one of them, I can clearly see how each decade blended into the next to bring me to where I am today. I’m very excited about the next 50 years with lots of ideas and plans for living a meaningful and full life. In keeping with my familytradition, I’m going to share with you my fivepearls of wisdom that have been instrumental in my life so far. This is not an easy exercise! Choosing five was a real challenge. We all have beliefs that we carry inside of us. They come from our families, mentors, and life experiences that we have along the way. However, I’m clear now that the fivepearls of wisdom that you read below are the ones that have shaped my life in the most profound way:

1. Be on Time Sounds simple doesn’t it? When I was a young girl in my teens, my Dad was forever rallying my sister and me to be on time. (When I was a teenager, the only thing I wanted to do was stay up late and sleep-in the next day!) What I’ve learned is that people who arrive on time (or even a little early) get access to opportunities and decision-makers that late-comers don’t. All (and I mean all) of the successful people I’ve met in my life arrive on time. Thanks Dad.

2. Listen My favorite line in the movie,Pulp Fiction is when Uma Thurman asks John Travolta,Do you listen or are you always waiting to talk? Brilliant. Stop for a moment and ask yourself that question. It sounds simple, but have you mastered the skill oflistening? It is one that I highly recommend that you practice. This onepearl alone has made a big difference in the course of my life. My grandfather used to say,There’s a reason you have two ears and one mouth. Enough said.

3. Be open to learn from the unexpected I’ve been to lectures and seminars that have been taught by people who were highly educated and the information was insightful. However, one of my most influential teachers, who ultimately became my mentor, was a high school drop-out who became a multi-millionaire.

4. Follow your instincts In my work with women, I refer to this asfollow your internal voice. As I reflect on the last five decades, every single time I didn’t follow my internal voice, I got myself into hot water—very hot water! Your internal voice is always with you (she’s been with you since the day you were born). She knows you better than anyone else and she will never, ever misguide you.

Thispearl of wisdom leads me to #5 which is

5. Practice Solitude I discovered thispearl of wisdom in my 40′s. When I was in my 20′s and 30′s, I was so busy running around living a very fast-paced life, that I never, ever appreciated (or was comfortable with) solitude or silence. When it got quiet, I got moving. As I crossed the threshold into my 40′s, I began to crave solitude. It was like breathing. It was necessary for me to live. Thispearl of wisdom ties right into #4Follow your instincts. It wasn’t until I learned to practice solitude that I couldhear what my internal voice was telling me. She speaks very softly and with all of the roles and responsibilities you have as a woman, it can be a challenge to hear her words of wisdom. It is in those precious moments of silence that I hear and visualize the best next steps for me in my life.

These are my5 Pearls of Wisdom and as I reflect on each of them, they come together like a single thread weaving their way through the fabric of my life. It is my hope that if you practice even one of them that you will begin to see positive change in your own life. As a mentor once shared with me,The slightest shift creates the greatest impact.

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you.

*****
2010 Joy Chudacoff

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Joy Chudacoff, ICF, PCC, is the founder of Smart Women Smart Solutions(tm), a Professional Certified Coach to 1000′s of women, Motivational Speaker, and Entrepreneur. She publishes a weekly buzz generating ezine, Reflections On Life and Business for Women Entrepreneurs. If you’re ready take your life and your business to the next level, get your FREE Tips, 2 FREE Reports and FREE MP3 now at login to post a comment.