Are You Emotionally Prepared for Retirement or Just Free Falling?

Are You Emotionally Prepared for Retirement or Just Free Falling?

Sandra W. Haymon, Ph.D.

Ann recently described the first couple of years after retiring asfree falling thru space without a parachute…not connected to the vehicle she’d just jumped from and not yet safely on the ground. She said it was like nothing she had ever felt before and that she was not prepared for the kaleidoscope of emotions she felt which included grief, anger, sadness and the loss of identity retirement had robbed her of. She felt vulnerable–lost and insecure, and for the first time in her life she started having panic attacks and insomnia in addition to physical ailments she’d not previously had.

Retiring, whether it’s a long awaited milestone in life, or an abrupt choice made for us brings with it a multitude of emotions that few people are prepared to handle. In planning for retirement most folks concentrate solely on economics, and fail to prepare themselves emotionally for this next phase in life.

People, in general, do not like changeeven when change is seen as necessary with potentially positive results. That’s why many individuals stay in unfulfilling careers and/or relationships. Many hide behind the proverbial wall of denial and pretend everything will always remain the same. However, that is not possible whenever there is a significant change in our lives such as retiring from our life’s workwork that has brought structure, value, meaning, income and stability to our lives.

Some retired individuals say that retiring is similar to what often happens when a couple gets divorced and their married friends no longer want to be around them. Others say their working colleagues treat them as though there has been a deathnot wanting to hear about life after retirement, and not knowing whether to offer congratulations or condolences. When we retire there is a deaththe death of a significant part of our lives. So, how does one prepare emotionally for this?

First, take care of yourself physically through good health habits–exercise, maintain a healthy diet, lose excessive weight, confront addictions to caffeine, nicotine, sugar, alcohol and/or other drugs. The old adageYou are what you eat (drink, and smoke) is true. Our emotional and spiritual well being is directly intertwined with our physical health. Most emotional, as well as physical, health issuesdepression, anxiety, insomnia, obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic fatigue, joint pain and a host of other illnesses are directly related to what we put into our bodies and how we treat ourselves.

Second, stay connected with family and significant others. Renew old relationships and mend fences if needed.

Third, stay active in gratifying activities that enable you to stay connected to friends. Find diversified groups to join, widen your horizons, and dust the cobwebs off your brain cells.

Fourth, set goals which can be accomplished within one year. Find new interests, challenges, places to visit and other things to look forward to.

Fifth, contribute to your community.This offers a sense of accomplishment and belonging.

And lastly, connect with your inner being. We all have this wonderful gift–an internal mechanism that will guide us if we’ll take the time to pay attention to it. When we listen to that still, small voice within us, the choices we make will help us prepare emotionally for retirement and for life in generalso we’re not free falling!

Dr. Sandra W. Haymon is a licensed psychologist and author. Her latest book: Baby BoomersSandwiched Between Retirement & Caregiving (Tate Publishing, 2009) addresses the emotional and economic issues associated with retirement and caregiving. Her book is available in print, audio, and e/Live and may be purchased at bookstores, tatepublishing.com and at www.BabyBoomersSandwich.com