He Seems Like A Nice Guy, But…

You met him at a
conference, or at the art museum. He’s your age, attractive, polite (he knows
how to look you in the eye!), and he’s great at conversation. He returns your
phone calls. He’s even a sensitive and confident lover, if you’ve gotten that
far.

But there are some
things that seem, well, odd. After dinner at the restaurant last weekend he
said that he forgot his credit card and would you mind taking care of the
bill?He says that he works for an
investment company but he’s vague about his position. Does he have a
girlfriend? He says no, but the other evening he took a call from someone and it seemed like he didn’t want you to hear what he was saying.

You really like him and
good men are hard to find. But a little voice in your head says that you should
hold back. You don’t think he’s a Jack the Ripper or Ted Bundy. But you’re
not ready to trust him completely because he’s not transparentyou get the
feeling that he’s hiding something.

Is he shy? Is he
embarrassed about some aspect of his life? Sure, maybe he works at an
investment firm, but as a gofer who delivers coffee to the traders. Maybe that mysterious phone call was from his mother and he was ashamed that his mom was phoning him at eight o’clock
on a Saturday night. Or is there something in his past that he wants to keep
hidden?

What’s a Diva to do?

If you really like the
guy, the most important thing you can do is get to know his friends and
business associates. You can’t be sneaky, though. Encourage him to arrange
group dates with you and his male and female friends. If he’s willing to bring
you into his circle of friends, that’s a very good sign. It means that he’s not
afraid to have you form your own casual relationships with his friends. He can’t
control what they say to you, and for someone who is insecureor worse, trying
to hide somethingcontrol is critically important.

If he is trying to hide
something, he will prefer to keep you isolated so that you can’t learn anything
about him other than what he wants you to know. He’ll always insist on seeing
you alone and going places where you don’t know anyone. If your new guy behaves
like this, think twice about developing a relationship.

If you want to take serious action, you can do a background check. But be careful. Your first impulse
will be to go online and search for background check services. If you Google background
check,you will get over 29 million results. Many of these online background
check services are ineffective or even fraudulent. They will take your
money and give you nothing.

If you do a search for
background check services, check out the Sponsored Linkson the right-hand
side of the screen. You’ll see several consumer sites that rank the
effectiveness of the most popular background check services. Read them carefully
and then decide on your course of action.

Every Diva wants to
think the best of the new guy who comes into her life, but just in case you get
that one bad apple, keep a level head and put your own safety first!