About Ruth Hegarty

CNN recently reported that divorce has a permanently bad affect on your mental and physical health. In my case, NOT getting a divorce would have been bad for my mental, and his physical, health. Sometimes we blow it. Maybe we were too young to get married, looked for love in the wrong place, or didn’t know when to just say,No! We come to our senses and divorce is the answer.

Having said that, divorce sucks and most divorced people wished they’d tried harder. We used to be forced to try harder. It was legally difficult to get a divorce. Now citingirreconcilable differences is enough. Have you ever wondered what differences are so irreconcilable that, for example, the 20-year togetherness of Sean Penn and Robin Wright is kaput? Let’s think about it for a minute . . .

Every couple has differences theyreconcile daily. He’s a dog person, she’s a cat person. He loves eggplant, it makes her gag. She’s crazy about opera, he’s into heavy metal. He loves camping, she’s afraid of bugs. His watches demolition derby, she follows the soaps. She scrapbooks, he’s into chain saw art. Differences. They make us interesting. True, they sometimes present real challenges. She’s Catholic, he’s Jewishhow do you raise the kids? He’s believes in spanking, she doesn’thow do you discipline the kids? She likes to travel, he’s a homebodyhow do you spend vacation time? Challenging, yes. Irreconcilable, no.

At what point do differences become irreconcilable? It’s the moment when you run out of the energy and desire to do the hard work. Admittedly, the time may come when you can’t do more, don’t want to do more, and want out. That’s okay. However, except in limited situations, e.g., where one won’t stop smacking the other one around or give up side nooky, when a couple splits it’s because they gave up, not because their differences are truly irreconcilable. Maybe this is a distinction without a difference. But perhaps more couples would go that extra mile if, when contemplating divorce, they ask themselves,Are our differences really irreconcilable or are we quitting because we’ve run out of steam?

If you find yourself envying your single friends, or you or your sweetie are spending way too much time on thin ice or in the dog house, maybe it’s time to put the attitude brakes on and make a U-Turn in the way you think about your still-significant-other. Try this: Think of times when your sweetheart made you think you’re the luckiest person on the planet. Those times don’t have to be the stuff of epic romance novels, just sweet times. Maybe it’s the day you planted the now fully matured roses, or sat on a bench holding hands enjoying the view, or cooked Thai food together for the first time. Reliving those memories can give you the oomph to work a tad harder at keeping your marriage together. Do it everyday. It’s like vitaminstaking one won’t make you healthy, but taking them every day is a step in the right direction. What have you got to lose?

Getting married is easy. Staying together often takes work. But remember: There’s only one thing as good as new love fireworks and it’s this: The contented intimacy that comes with time and experience, with having grown old together. Hanging in there. It’s worth it.

Shela Dean is a Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy! available through Amazon or Shela’s website.

About Ruth Hegarty19323About Ruth HegartyRuth Hegarty is founder of Leap of Confidence and the Effortless Success Programs for Women Entrepreneurs. She is a popular (and as her friends will tell youquirky and entertaining) Life-style / Business Coach and co-host of the Art of Joyful Living radio show.

Ruth specializes in helping women entrepreneurs improve their quality of life and their business success simultaneously by teaching them how to work smart, earn more and have more time for fun, family and self. The biggest issue she sees among women entrepreneurs is how busy they are and how pulled in too many directions they feel. They often get to a point where nothing they do seems to work and they simply have too much on their plate. These wonderful women are frustrated and overwhelmed. Ruth absolutely loves helping them turn that situation around through her Effortless Success Strategies which are a unique combination of energetic alignment and perspective shifting and concrete leading edge entrepreneurial practices. Ruth created her Effortless Success formula painstakingly over many years through of her own experiences and by working with some of the best coaches and mentors available.

Ruth has a B.A. in history, an M.S. in education, is a graduate of the Coach U Coach Training Program, a Certified Law of Attraction Coach and Certified Award Winning Educator. She is a sought after speaker who’s audiences delight in her down to earth, straightforward and compassionate style. She is an entertaining (just ask her; she’ll tell you she’s funny!), empowering and fearless presence with unbounded enthusiasm and insightful practical advice. Her message inspires all who hear it to reevaluate their thought, word and action habits as well as how they approach change and how they define who has the power in their lives so that they can more easily discover and embrace their own unique power and ability to create amazing and positive outcomes.

What Ruth wants for women everywhere is to stop buying into the myth that there is only one way to do business. As women, we have access to powerful sources of wisdom, intuition, creativity, compassion, relationship styles and so much other wonderfulstuff that empower female entrepreneurs to run successful authentic businesses that make a difference.

Read more articles by Ruth Hegarty at her blog: http://www.CoachRuth.com/blog
Download your Free Effortless Success Tool Kit at http://www.CoachRuth.com
Learn more about Leap of Confidence/Effortless Success: http://www.CoachRuth.com and http://www.EffortlessSuccessClub.com
Listen to Ruth’s Law of Attraction radio show: http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/Art-of-Joyful-Living
Connect with Ruth on Facebook (http://www.new.facebook.com/rhegarty1); Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/ruthhegarty); Linkedin (http://www.linkedin.com/in/ruthhegarty)