The Head Banging Syndrome Stopping Bad Habits

Four years ago I joined a networking group because I was feeling stale after 15 years of running a third generation pest control company. I went to the meetings, nothing thrilling at first. Having to pull myself out of bed for a 6:30 meeting was questionable in itself.

One day, a light went off. I started using the tools and referrals from this group. My confidence started to grow, and as a result, my business was being revitalized also. This group encouraged me to apply for the Athena Powerlink appointment. If you meet the qualifications and are picked, you receive one year of professional mentoring from a panel of 11 local experts, free of charge. Well, I did apply and was accepted! 2008 has changed my life.

I spent countless hours with dynamic individuals who each lent a different expertise. I have redesinged my pest control business. The true irony comes from then purchasing the membership network group that gave me the confidence to apply for Athena.

In April 2009, I became the new “supercharged” leader of the Erie Small Business Alliance. I am blessed to be able to take 20 years of experience as a business owner, combine it with great lessons from my Athena mentors, and “pay it forward” to my network group. Word of mouth is the greatest compliment a company can have. I am hoping to impress the importance of customer service, which then results in unlimited referrals.

Some programs that I offer through ESBA (www.eriesba.com) as part of the membership is core group. Core groups are usually attended by 5-8 members over coffee. We take a few minutes with each member to learn more about their business, then brainstorm on creative ideas to promote their business-as well as produce referrals.

ESBA has teamed up with our local chamber of commerce. We are both membership organizations, but felt a join venture would benefit all our members. On August 12th, the two groups will combine for a Speed Networking event. This is high energy and guaranteed to produce countless referrals.

With the on-going threat of a slower economy, advertising budgets are simply not as available as in the past. I hope that with my energy and ideas, I can give small business the boost that they need through creative networking!

Donna Reese
President
Erie Small Business Alliance
General Exterminating The Head Banging Syndrome Stopping Bad Habits18137The Head Banging Syndrome Stopping Bad HabitsHave you ever heard the expression, Quit banging your head against the wall! It’s an old expression my Mom used that basically translates into: There are certain things we do that are as productive and healthy as banging your head against the wall.

The Banging-Your-Head-Against-The-Wall Theory The interesting thing about the banging-your-head-against-the-wall theory, hereafter known as HBS, is its tendency to repeat itself. Which brings up another voice from my childhood:When will you learn? As in:How many times do you need to bang your head against the wall to figure out it hurts?

Why is it that after our Mothers collectively imparted this wisdom to us, either it took us a very long time to figure it out for ourselves or we still haven’t done so? I mean really, are we as thick as the bricks in that wall? The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect different results. Hence our Mother’s refrain,Are you nuts or what?

Some Habitual Behaviors not only don’t Work but Actually Hurt In the process of Life Coaching, we often find that people do just thatcontinue on with habitual behaviors that not only don’t work but actually hurt. We fall into a pattern and we stick with it come hell or high water. We operate on automatic pilot. We think we are making real choices in our actions but far from it. Habitual behavior runs us. We aren’t really in control of our life.

Habitual Behavior is Oftentimes a Result of Behavioral Adaptations Habitual behavior is oftentimes a result of behavioral adaptations we made when we were younger. You know, if your Mom didn’t love you enough, you might have developed the habit of looking for love in all the wrong places. Sorry. And you kept repeating that behavior, a behavior that evolved from a childhood reaction but one that surely does not work as an adult, until you end up with a head that is bruised from all the banging. Finally a light goes off in the old noggin. What’s up with that?

Is that Voice Telling you the Truth? Who is in charge here? Perhaps it’s that childhood voice inside your head that says you aren’t lovable. Is that voice telling you the truth? Not. It’s a voice, only a voice and one that operates with highly outdated and unreliable information. Call it a troll, a demon, whatever.It started way back when you were younger at a time when you made childlike decisions in order to survive. Who are you going to listen toit or you?

Understand that Voice in your Head for What it is Stop with the head banging, would you! As your Mother knew, it gets you nowhere fast. Nowhere is not a fun place. Understand that voice in your head for what it isa voice that wants to keep you locked into habitual behavior that keeps you from inner awareness and therefore any change for the better.

Awareness, then Clarity, will Lead to Conscious Decisions Start by recognizing that voice and noticing it. That’s it. Just notice it. Don’t argue with it or attempt to have a rational conversation. It isn’t a rational voice. Trust me, I know from experience. Once you are aware of its presence, you can choose to ignore it. Awareness, then clarity, will lead to conscious decisions; decisions that are made by you and you alone. Nothing unconscious like trolls or bad habits.

Seek to Develop New Habits If your life was run by bad habits then conversely it can be run by good habits you consciously choose. To develop a habit you simply must stick with it for about three months and you are home safe. Just create the picture of what you want your behavior to look like and list ten habits that will get you to that picture of yourself.

Think of Ten Habits that will get you to that Future Self and Start Today It works the same with your life. Where would you like to be in ten years in terms of who and what you are and what you are doing? Think of ten habits that will get you to that Future Self and start today in adopting those guideposts. Work backwards from the future.

If you really want to make changes for the better you must be aware of what is running you. That takes workbut again as Mom always said, The effort you put into something determines what you get out of it. Or was it,Nothing worthwhile is easy. Whatever, you get the picture.