Valentine’s Day. It’s highly commercialized. You can’t escape it. From the jewelry ads on TV to the rows of red cards in every store, you’d have to go into sensory deprivation to avoid the emotional triggers of this romantic-love’ holiday. And you don’t want to do that because you’ll miss the celebration of the other kinds of love in your life- the unconditional love for your children, the soul-sister affection for your best friend and the gratitude for all the people who make your life easier. And don’t forget the craving love of chocolate, coffee or other sinful delights! So here are some things you can do on Valentine’s Day (and all of February) to honor the loves of your life:
Venture into that card aisle, bypassing the sugary sweetheart cards, and purchase a few for family and friends. Reading the poems dedicated to parents or friendship may remind you of the blessings in your life.
If you love sugar or glitter, take advantage of the heart shaped box of chocolate (dark chocolate even has health benefits!) or pamper yourself with some new jewelry. You’ll most likely save money with the promotions this month!
Assemble all the special women in your life to join a tea party and make a seriously ill child smile at the Starlight Foundation’s Purses & Pearls’ fundraiser. More information can be found at www.starlightnewengland.org or 617-241-9911.
Call your best friends and ask for time. Even ten minutes of attention can push the loneliness away.
Cry. Wallow. Bemoan your lack of candlelit dinner or couples massage. But only for a short time. Take an hour or less to be sad or angry and then let it go. Acknowledge that life can be painful and difficult, but it also has joy and light. Don’t let this momentary situation define who you are.
Express your gratitude. Whether by email, handwritten notes or verbal comments, let the people in your life know you appreciate them.
Say thank you, compliment and smile at all the strangers who add joy to your day: the postal carrier who picks up your outgoing mail so you don’t have to schlep to the post office; the baronista at Starbucks who always gets your order right; and the teen who bags your groceries without ever crushing the bread. Enjoy the simple things that can work magic.
Be a secret cupid: Adopt’ a single colleague or elderly neighbor and brighten their day with secret friendly notes, humorous gifts, etc. for the week leading up to Valentine’s Day. Then on the fourteenth, take them out to lunch or spend time with them. The fun you’ll have focusing on another person may be a highlight of your year.
Imagine your ideal Valentine’s Day, from sunrise to sunset. What would it look like and who would you spend it with? Are there ways to incorporate some portion of that picture into this year? If yes, go do it. If not, what obstacles do you need to overcome for it to happen in 2010? Then figure out a plan to accomplish this in the next 365 days.
Shake off the temptation to throw a pity party, and be your own valentine! Write a love letter to yourself. Sing love songs to yourself. Acknowledge yourself for the beautiful, wise, wonderful person that you are. You’ll be amazed at how empowering it is to be your own best friend!
Meghan Gehan is not only the Director of Business Development at One Journey Consulting, a life coaching practice for divorcing individuals, she’s also a client. She’ll be putting most of these ideas into play (especially the dark chocolate one)as she spends her first Valentine’s Day alone in eleven years.
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