Divorce: When Are Differences Irreconcilable?

I could never be a vegan. I love shoes too much!What do you mean you don’t wear wool in the winter? Shearing doesn’t hurt the sheep, does it?What do you wear to keep warm? Those are just a few of the many comments I hear regularly from women when they consider what they think it means to be a vegan. In a worddeprivation. Nothing could be further from the truth.
As with the food we eatif I had a dime for every time I hear,You’re a vegan! What do you eat? Oh, yeah, salads. Period. It’s as if that’s it. And, the only thing they can think is,Yikes, that would be horrible. I like salad, but every day at every mealI don’t think so.
Eating a vegan diet is much more delicious and uncomplicated than most people imagine (and salads are only a small part of it), but we’re not here to talk about that right now. Instead, let’s look at the 5 myths that abound when it comes tovegan style, and no, the two concepts are not mutually exclusive.

1. DeprivationI don’t want to wear shapeless clothes and plastic shoes. Whoa, hold on. I can guarantee that everyone already has at least somevegan clothes in their closet without even knowing it. Do you wear cotton, linen, rayon, or any of the fabulous manmade microfibers now available? Of course you do. And, more and more gorgeous designs are being made in cruelty-free fabrics these days. With a little forethought and label-reading, there is no deprivation necessary!

2. Leather is a by-product of the meat industry. Animals are not killed just for their skin –Actually, both are true. Contrary to popular belief (if people even think about it at all), some animals are killed purposely for their skins and fur. The process is horrendous. And, by wearing skins, no matter how the skin is procured, you are silently endorsing the brutal treatment and death of millions upon millions of animals. Neither denying or ignoring this fact does not make it go away.

3. It’s too expensive No way. Like all fashion, vegan fashion comes in all price points. Shoe prices, for instance, run from Payless to www.charmone.com. There is something for everyone no matter what your budget.

4. They are not well-made Guess what? Like anything else it depends on where you shop. My closet contains clothes from Target to Armani (yes, the Armani is vegan) so whether you shop thrift stores or boutiques (or both, like me), you have choices about the amount of attention to detail that goes into any particular garment or accessory.

5. It’s too hard Okay, I’m going to be blunt. Get over it. If I can do it anyone can. When I first imagined how I was going to be a vegan image consultant, I could have said,No, it’s too hard. Instead, I chose to make it an adventure, and I’ve never reconsidered my decision. It’s a matter of listening to your heart the rest will fall into place easily and sweetly.
Don’t let these myths sabotage your desire to live cruelty-free. They honestly don’t have to. Like anything else, it’s a matter of supply and demand, and I’m already seeing the advantage tipping in the direction of cruelty-free, vegan fashion. With each person who makes this commitment, our choices increase and more myths (not animals) die.

About the Author:
Over the past 23 years, Ginger Burr, believing that your image is about representing the best of you (not making designers happy), has built a remarkable career as an expert personal image consultant working with women from all walks of life. Whether it’s thedynasty shoulder pad era, the never-ending confusion of business casual, or the low-rise pant controversy, she has helped women navigate through (and sometimes completely ignore!) the styles of the season and feel good about how they look.

A notable speaker and leader in the field of fashion and style, Ginger’s adroit understanding of beauty trends and fashion has been celebrated by Fox TV News, The Boston Globe, cnn.com. In addition, Ginger recently launched her body image, self-esteem, and style home study programWho Taught You How to Dress? This innovative program allows women to overcome internal obstacles and learn the practical (as well as soft) skills they need to create a wardrobe they love–all in the comfort of their own home!

Ginger has distinguished herself in several untapped niches, including her image work with the transgender community and was recently recognized by VegNews Magazine as one of the25 Most Fascinating Vegetarians in the world for her innovative and groundbreaking work as a vegan image consultant. Learn more at: totalimageconsultants.com

Divorce: When Are Differences Irreconcilable?19322Divorce: When Are Differences Irreconcilable?CNN recently reported that divorce has a permanently bad affect on your mental and physical health. In my case, NOT getting a divorce would have been bad for my mental, and his physical, health. Sometimes we blow it. Maybe we were too young to get married, looked for love in the wrong place, or didn’t know when to just say,No! We come to our senses and divorce is the answer.

Having said that, divorce sucks and most divorced people wished they’d tried harder. We used to be forced to try harder. It was legally difficult to get a divorce. Now citingirreconcilable differences is enough. Have you ever wondered what differences are so irreconcilable that, for example, the 20-year togetherness of Sean Penn and Robin Wright is kaput? Let’s think about it for a minute . . .

Every couple has differences theyreconcile daily. He’s a dog person, she’s a cat person. He loves eggplant, it makes her gag. She’s crazy about opera, he’s into heavy metal. He loves camping, she’s afraid of bugs. His watches demolition derby, she follows the soaps. She scrapbooks, he’s into chain saw art. Differences. They make us interesting. True, they sometimes present real challenges. She’s Catholic, he’s Jewishhow do you raise the kids? He’s believes in spanking, she doesn’thow do you discipline the kids? She likes to travel, he’s a homebodyhow do you spend vacation time? Challenging, yes. Irreconcilable, no.

At what point do differences become irreconcilable? It’s the moment when you run out of the energy and desire to do the hard work. Admittedly, the time may come when you can’t do more, don’t want to do more, and want out. That’s okay. However, except in limited situations, e.g., where one won’t stop smacking the other one around or give up side nooky, when a couple splits it’s because they gave up, not because their differences are truly irreconcilable. Maybe this is a distinction without a difference. But perhaps more couples would go that extra mile if, when contemplating divorce, they ask themselves,Are our differences really irreconcilable or are we quitting because we’ve run out of steam?

If you find yourself envying your single friends, or you or your sweetie are spending way too much time on thin ice or in the dog house, maybe it’s time to put the attitude brakes on and make a U-Turn in the way you think about your still-significant-other. Try this: Think of times when your sweetheart made you think you’re the luckiest person on the planet. Those times don’t have to be the stuff of epic romance novels, just sweet times. Maybe it’s the day you planted the now fully matured roses, or sat on a bench holding hands enjoying the view, or cooked Thai food together for the first time. Reliving those memories can give you the oomph to work a tad harder at keeping your marriage together. Do it everyday. It’s like vitaminstaking one won’t make you healthy, but taking them every day is a step in the right direction. What have you got to lose?

Getting married is easy. Staying together often takes work. But remember: There’s only one thing as good as new love fireworks and it’s this: The contented intimacy that comes with time and experience, with having grown old together. Hanging in there. It’s worth it.

Shela Dean is a Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy! available through Amazon or Shela’s website.