Facebook Over Face Time — When technology keeps you from those you love

“I am now the most miserable man living. Whether I shall ever be better I cannot tell; I awfully forebode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible; I must die or be better.” – Abraham Lincoln
American film and television actorJoe Pantoliano once identified strongly with Lincoln’s sad statement. Its hard for many of us to imagine that Pantoliano, a man who has achieved fame, wealth and adoring accolades could possible feel such a sense of quiet desperation. On the outside his life is glitter, glory and downright gorgeous. On the inside, not so much. Many other people profoundly identify with Abraham Lincoln’s famous quote.
Pantoliano revealed this dark, empty cavernous secret of lifelong depression in a recent blog in the Huffington Post – “Stigma Ain’t What it Used to Be”. He writes about what he calls his emotional stigma and his compassion for the soldiers he visited in Iraq who similarly suffer with struggle and depression. Suicides among our heroes fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have outnumbered combat deaths since 2009, he writes.
Joe went to Iraq to help our men and women in uniform. He returned with something he did not expect. He embraced the surprising gift of life-affirming freedom self-expression provides. In sharing his secret with others who understood through experience Joe was able to shine light upon his dark hidden areas. He realized that by acknowledging and releasing rather than suppressing pent up negative energy he could finally set himself free.
It’s an unfortunate fact – emotional disorders are common. The good news is we have the power to change that fact. We all have within us the tools to get back on the path to healing – acceptance, inner light and new perspective. Embrace who you really are underneath the layers of emotional trauma. Realize who you are capable of becoming. It’s what you’re here to do. Look for light where you see darkness or shadows. Reach for possibilities where you experience struggle.
“Speak up, speak loud and be proud.” – Joe Pantoliano
Hiding depression perpetuates depression. Closeting any part of who you are kills the human spirit. Speaking your truth, examining it for what it is – or is not – is what each and every one of us is here to do. In his blog, Joe said the nine days he spent discussing depression with the soldiers was the best thing that ever happened to him. He began to see that he was more than just a Hoboken street kid making a fortune playing characters people love to hate – and hating himself because he wasn’t an Al Pacino and any number of things that he allowed to ratchet up his anxiety meter.
Joe’s got his Moxie back! He tapped back into his confident courage to achieve authentic greatness.He discovered a new perspective. Joe realized he is a man who has a lot to share and is more than capable of contributing to the greater good of all.
Valery is an Author, Speaker and Moxie Master whowill teach you how to have the AUTHENTIC confident courage to go after what you REALLY want with unrelenting drive and passion. That’s Moxie! Claim your truth, own your power & command your stage with her unique fast Moxie Up! power process available for discerning individuals who demand personal attention. Get going. Get it done. Moxie Up! today with a private exclusive confidential complimentary call. Get free tips athttp://www.MoxieTherapy.com
Facebook Over Face Time — When technology keeps you from those you love20337Facebook Over Face Time — When technology keeps you from those you loveAll of today’s wonderful technology allows us to stay in touch like never before with extended networks of people. But it comes with a downside.

The more time we spend surfing the Web, Tweeting or updating our Facebook friends, the less time we have to interact with those closest to us.

Some people know more about what is going on with their Facebook friends than they do about their actual friends and kids. Unless youfriend your kids on Facebook, you may have no idea what they are doing today.

Among the thousands of people I’ve taught, I often hear people complain they have a hard time connecting with their spouse and kids. Yet I’ll bet many of them are really well connected in Internet chat groups. Do you see a pattern here?

I’m grateful for technology. I use it to share photos with family members who don’t live in the islands. I and other parents take videos of our kids dancing at Hula Halau, the hula school we attend here in Hawaii, and put them on YouTube. Otherwise some of our family members outside the islands would not have seen them for a year or more.

But it is important to understand if your use of technology is keeping you from time with your family and friends. Do you complain that you’re not connected with friends and family? Do you suspect you are addicted to technology such as Facebook or other social networking sites? Are you so engrossed with Facebook and Twitter that you’ve become a twit?

If the answer to these questions is yes, that’s a good sign that it is time to log off the Internet, turn off the TV and unplug the gaming console.

I recommend that you as a parent regulate your child’s screen time and your own time online. Instead of creating a post about what you’re going to be doing or just did, spend that time connecting with those closest to you.

If you really have a problem regulating your use of technology, it helps to understand some of the reasons we turn to technology for fulfillment.

Do you feel like you are just going through the motions, automatically turning on whatever electronic medium soothes you? Is it keeping you from time with family or in meditation or prayer that you know you need? This may be a sign that you have succumbed to what is known as theiago trance a naturally occurring state of mind that lulls you into unconsciousness.

Huna, the ancient Hawaiian system of consciousness that I teach and practice, gives us tools to stay connected with the moment and the world around us and not be lulled into the iago trance. At our Huna workshops we spend nine days seeking thatah ha moment of clarity and empowerment.

If technology is interfering with your real world relationships, it is time to cut out unnecessary screen time and maximize the activities that keep you out of the trance. Here are some tips to help you do it:

• Ask yourself if technology is helping or hindering you from accomplishing all you wish to do. At the end of the day do you say:I wish I had more time to work out, meditate, play with my kids or connect with my spouse?

• Make a list of everything that prevents you from being connected to your friends, family and loved ones and pick one that you’re going to cut out.

• If a particular technology has you feeling hooked, try cutting it out for a week and seeing what difference it makes in your life. Ask yourself if you’re using it the way you originally intended, or is it keeping you in iago trance?

• Lay down boundaries for yourself and your family on the activities that prevent you from connecting. For instance, try keeping your Facebook page very private and not justfriending anyone.

• Find otherunplugged ways to reduce stress, such as spending a few minutes outdoors in the fresh air, walking and connecting with nature, or quietly in meditation or prayer.

I’d rather tell my wife good morning than tell the people on Facebook I just woke up. How about you?

Do you spend more time withE-friends than yourlive friends and family? Take the quiz. Your child approaches you with a question while you’re on Facebook. Do you: o Make your kid wait until you’ve finished whatever you’re doing. o Stop immediately and pay attention to your child? You have a problem you’re working out. Who knows about it first? o Your Facebook friends. o Your loved ones. Your husband/wife/lover comes up to give you affection. Do you: o Acknowledge them. o Keep Tweeting. Do you feel know people on Facebook you’ve never met better than yourlive friends? o Yes. o No. Is your first reaction to share your experiences with your: o Live friends o Virtual friends. Do you feel like your long drive to work is preventing you from tweeting? o Yes. o No. Is interacting with virtual friends taking you away from tasks that need to be accomplished? o Yes. o No.

About the Author: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is an international trainer, lecturer and educator and President of American Pacific University and the Empowerment Partnership. His work is dedicated to created personal transformation by teaching Huna, the ancient science of consciousness and energy healing, using cutting edge therapeutic techniques. To contact Dr. James, please email him at info@Huna.com. For more information and materials about the ho`oponopono process of forgiveness, visit http://www.Huna.com.