I Give Up

I refused
to give up. No one was going to tell me what to do! I was in total control of
my life. Yep I was total in control of allowing my life to get out of control.
I turned around and all of the sudden I was 50 pounds heavier, trying to
control my children, manipulating my husband, spending money just because I was
“in control”.

Actually, I
was feeling powerless. The more I tried the newest fad diet or the next great
therapy, the worse I felt because I gave the power of my recovery to another
person or gimmick. That day in February 2009, everything changed. I fell apart
realizing that I just couldn’t continue down this path, it was going to kill
me. I may not die physically, but boy was a falling fast into an emotional
death. So, I gave up and with that surrender I found true freedom.

What does
giving up really look like? Here are a few of my revelations:

1. I needed
help from a place where I took responsibility for my recovery. I was lead to
Overeaters’ Anonymous by a random phone call to my cell phone. I haven’t binged
since February 25, 2009.