Jurdy Cartoon – Jurdy’s Fountain of Youth

Babies are not born with knowledge about how to behave tucked into their DNA. As they grow, they depend on their parents to teach them the rules of behavior in all of the situations they experience. If you call your kids in from their backyard play to visit Great Aunt Tillie or to do some shopping at the mall, they will not know that different behavior will be expected of them unless you tell them.

Before you put your children into a new situation, explain to them the conditions they will be experiencing, and describe the behavior you will be needing from them. Here are a couple of examples:

Aunt Tillie has a lot of breakable things on her tables and shelves, and just bumping the furniture can cause something to fall over and break. While we’re there, we need to walk slowly with our arms close to our bodies. You may look at her things, but please ask before you touch any of them.

The stores at the mall have a lot of clothing racks that can keep us from seeing each other if we get too far apart. I need you to stay where I can see you. There are some areas that might seem like a good place to run and scream, but that kind of thing could disturb other shoppers, so we need to keep our voices at a talking level and walk rather than run.

You must always be aware of your children’s interest/boredom level and make adjustments accordingly. Do not expect your toddler to sit quietly in a stroller for hours while you shop. When he shows signs of restlessness, take a break or do something that you can engage him in (picking out his own new clothes, for instance). Before you leave the house, make sure your kids take something with them that they can play with while they wait for you to conduct your business. Above all else, DO NOT IGNORE YOUR CHILDREN. Children whomisbehave are often children whose parents are oblivious to their boredom. Engage them in your business: have them tell Great Aunt Tillie about their school or trip to the zoo, or ask their opinions about what you are buyingShould I get the red one or the blue one? When you sense that your children have reached theirgood behavior limit, take them outside for a few minutes, give them a snack, spend a few minutes in a play area, or find a quiet area in the mall where they can race each other to the other side and back. You must also be willing to go home when your children have reached their limits.

Being a parent is a full-time job. Whenever you are with your children, you are always on duty. This means being constantly aware of them, their energy levels, and the limits of their self-discipline. If you expect behavior from them that is beyond their limits, YOU are the one who is misbehaving. And if you ignore them, so that they have to use wild behavior to try to get your attention, YOU are misbehaving every bit as much as they are. Before you reprimand your kids for inappropriate behavior, make sure that you have given them every chance to behave well and that you have not had unrealistic expectations of their capabilities. With good training and attention, your children will always behave well.

Shellee Allison
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Jurdy Cartoon – Jurdy’s Fountain of Youth22190Jurdy Cartoon – Jurdy’s Fountain of Youth

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