Balance Only Works if You’re a Scale

Women spend a lot of time on a scale typically. Yet, unless you ARE a scale, the concept of balance does not apply to you. That means that this whole notion of balancing life and work, keeping things in balance, or trying to maintain balance is not only hooey, but something we are about to toss out the window. (along with the guilt in not being able to attain it!)

Balance loosely means dividing an equal portion of a finite quantity of something into equal parts. If we were actually able to do this, then we would spend as much time with our kids as we do at the office or on a career; or spend as much time pampering ourselves as we do cooking and cleaning our homes. It’s not gonna happen. And though the national average is that families spend as much as 12 minutes a day in quality time with their children and most women spend well less than that in pampering themselves, which is a horrible situation, the goal is not to suddenly spend 8 hours at work and 8 hours in reading to your children on the same day. At least that is not a realistic goal. Yet, when we try to achieve that state, we fail and then we suffer all kinds of guilt over something that is completely unattainable in the first place.

Instead of reaching for balance, go for fulfillment. Ask yourself,Are you and those you live with, love with, work with, and hang out with getting what you both need from the time you are spending together? If the answer is yes, then you’ve reached a far more valuable pinnacle of success than mere balance. If the answer is no, begin to asses yourfulfillment efficiency ratio. (Yep, look out, it’s a new 21st century buzzword.) Can you say ten words in twenty seconds and provide value to a child? Possibly. Are we talking about saving your life by looking both ways on a busy street or are we talking about the birds and the bees? Can you relieve ten years of tense muscles in ten minutes? Um, no. But we sure try to. How efficient and effective are you at fulfilling the needs around you, both yours and others, and yes, yours count just as much. Grab a glass of wine or water with lemon and stop bullying yourself into a completely balanced state. Instead focus on finding fulfillment. You’d be amazed at how much it will feel as if things havebalanced out.

Monica Wofford is a speaker, trainer, and coach with over20 years of experience. She is the CEO of Contagious Conferences and owner of Orlando-based training firm, Contagious Companies, Inc. Visit www.contagiousconferences.com to learn more about then next conference on October 22 in Orlando. The subtitle is Balance: When in Charge, in Heels, and in Charge.