Relationship Books: 48-Hour Fool Mode? Really?

Everything seems to be working just beautifully; communication is good, the ‘hi, baby‘ talk is picking up pace, and it’s all good. Then, the whole thing comes to a screeching halt!

Something is said in the conversation that is misinterpreted and without warning; he slams the door of communication in your face. He disappears faster than Houdini and you’re left wondering what the hell happened? You begin to analyze every aspect of the conversation leading up to that point. You attempt to make things right by immediately taking responsibility and apologizing for something you aren’t even aware of and then it occurs to you, this fool is trippin’!

I lovingly call this behavior the 48-Hour Fool Mode. It is a period when he feels he has to show out in order to release from any commitment he may have made to you, or to keep from making a commitment to you. Maybe there is a special holiday coming up that couples typically share together. Maybe he forgot about the promise he made to another woman and decided you were not important enough to change his plans.

Whatever his reason, you can believe, it has nothing to do with you. That’s right…it’s not you at all. It is his drama and his mess. You, as a woman of substance and value, must allow him to deal with his issues and not allow yourself to get sucked into the disappointment of his inconsistency.

Though most women feel the need to “fix it”, and “make it right”, we must remember to remove ourselves from that which does not align with what we desire to experience. This means pulling back and stepping away from the fire in order to keep from getting emotionally burned.

The 48-hour fool mode is designed to keep you confused about his feelings because, basically, his feelings are all over the map. Depending on how long you have been dating, you may be able to determine if there is any level of sincerity about his intentions for you. He may just be pulling and pushing to keep you emotionally invested until he decides which direction he wants to go. This is unhealthy for you because the result is lack of focus and too much energy spent in a negative place, which by the way, keeps you from what you really want to experience.

The key when dealing with him in the 48-hour fool mode is finding something else to focus your attention on — and I don’t mean analyzing the situation or trying to find a means of communicating. Frankly, when he goes into this mode, he has absolutely no interest in talking – at least not with you. Accept the situation, and say “okay, I have got to keep moving forward” and do just that! You may have other interested potentials that can be a healthy distraction or a serious hook-up waiting to happen. Generally, within two to three days, he is back to his charming self; however, you get to decide if he is worth another chance.

What triggers the 48-hour fool mode? Fear. Fear that his lack of communication skills will incite some type of unpredictable response from you. For a man, communicating feelings is particularly difficult and can seem awkward. When men ask questions, it is usually to gain more information about the topic or person.

Exercising patience during the 48-hour fool modewill help you to refrain from acting a fool over a fool. It is an opportunity for you to cool your heels and assess the situation more maturely. If the 48-hour fool mode last longer than 48 hours, then leave the fool in fool’s paradise.

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Author/Speaker/Talkshow Host, Kim Harris just released her new relationsip book. Visit http://www.awomanlikeme-manlikeyou.com