Do You Expect Too Much?

“Our circumstances answer to our expectations and the demand of our natures.” -Henry David Thoreau

Whether you realize it or not, you have expectations – lots of them.You expect certain behaviors from friends, family, loved ones, co-workers, the government, the world and of your self. Usually you don’t even realize that you have any expectations until you are let down.When you’re let down you become angry, disappointed, shocked or even saddened by the actions that don’t live up to your expectations.

What you may not realize is that expectations are based upon your judgments. Yes, you are judgmental.Nearly everyone on the planet is judgmental to a point.Expectations coincide with the opinions, or judgments, you have about what “should” be.If things don’t go the way you think they “should” go then you become upset.

Conflicts caused by expectations, expressed or unexpressed, are very common. Unmet expectations can lead to great disappointment and frustration in your relationships. One great clue to expectations is disappointment. If you are in a disappointed state ask yourself what you expected. What might be the other person’s point of view?

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!

Is it fair to be upset with someone because they fail to meet your expectations? Do you find that you’re often upset with yourself for expecting certain behaviors from someone in the first place?If so, then you also have unrealistic expectations and judgments of yourself and you have let yourself down.Your expectations and judgments of other people mirror your expectations and judgments of yourself.

The simple fact is that you will not be let down if you didn’t have the expectations in the first place.Another simple fact is everyone, including your self, is doing the best that they can do given their conditioning, view of the world and expectations of themselves.No one gets out of bed in the morning and says, “Gee, how can I deliberately let someone down today?How can I disappoint myself?”

So, give everyone else and yourself a break.Review your expectations.Are they realistic?Are they based on subjective opinion or objective truth?Is there no room for error – ever?Is anyone ever perfect – all of the time?

If your expectations have been thwarted it may be time to readjust your expectations.If someone isn’t who you think they are change your expectations.If the upset is based upon a gross departure of what was expected then, perhaps, the relationship will end.If the broken expectation is minor then perhaps all that is needed is an appreciation of that person (and yourself) as a whole, rather than of one incident.

Most importantly, lighten-up on your expectations of yourself.An error in judgment, a missed opportunity, a social faux-pas is not the end of the world.These moments are wonderful learning opportunities. They give you a chance to learn about yourself, put in corrections where beneficial, and appreciate life’s journey.

Choose acceptance over expectations and judgments.You’ll find that your life experiences will be more enjoyable, richer and rewarding.

As a Coach, I can help you discover the underlying expectations and judgements you have that sabotage YOUR dreams!Imagine a clear road ahead without anything blocking experience of a rich, delicious, beautiful life!

For more information, contact me at Valery@DemandMiracles.com or visit my new websites: http://www.MiraclesMindsetCoach.com, http://www.SuccessMindsetCoach.com and http://www.FineToFabulous.com.