The Power Of Procrastination

For several weeks, I had been struggling with procrastination, especially when it came to getting myself out the door and to an appointment on time. Usually I’d get to client appointments in the nick of time, but when it came to appointments I had made with other professionals to receive services I could be as much as 20 minutes late. And this kept happening week after week until it reached a point where I was incredibly embarassed by my repeated behavior and frustrated at myself for pushing the envelope with my beloved service providers. So, I asked my coach to help me confront the situation and figure out what was going on below the surface because inevitably when things like procrastination and perfectionism pop up – there is something deeper going on.

So we unraveled it layer by layer.

Procrastinating and leaving late for appointments because I just wanted to do one more thing online or on the phone before I went to bed or left the house in the morning filled me with stress about rushing and being late. And yet, I was doing it over and over again, so clearly the negative experience belied some other satisfaction from the experience or I would have cut it out long ago. I would spend the whole trip feeling bad about being late, rushing as much as I could while my body was vibrating with tension from the race not to be too late. Yuck! This is not a state of being that I prefer to be in, and it’s really not conducive to relaxation! And you may be wondering, like I did, what on earth was this self-induced punishment doing for me?

So, we broke it down even further. By making myself late, and by beating myself up mentally for being late – I was totally unable to enjoy, relax into, or really benefit from the service I was receiving. I was sabotaging the self-care I scheduled for myself. Ironic that even me, someone who swears by and teaches self-care, could catch myself sabotaging my own efforts! When I thought more about it, I noticed that I was doing the same thing when it came to going to the gym or fitting in yoga workouts – I was too tired in the morning from staying up late to do just one more thing, or too busy with this or that work thing during the day to carve out relaxing, plentiful self-care sessions like I had over much of the last year.

And why was I sabotaging my self-care sessions? Because I was prioritizing doing one (or 10) more thing(s) on my business late at night, first thing in the morning, and anytime I could sneak it in during the day! And it turns out this is a very old self-sabotaging pattern of mind where I become a work-a-holic. Someone even noticed and commented anonymously about me working more than living on Facebook! Here I was with a preoccupation about spreading the word about self-care, relaxation and wellness while totally not practicing what I was preaching. Truly this revelation made me giggle at the irony, and also wonder what was truly motivating me.

Where was all this procrastination, work-a-holic self-care sabotage coming from?

It turned out that since my pelvis/hip thing has become much less of an issue, some old inner limiting beliefs about needing to work hard all the time to be a “good girl” and not deserving R&R, self-care, and recreation until I’d achieved X, Y, or Z was popping up for me. Here I thought I was beyond all this conditioning, and it turns out this old baggage needed another spin through the cycle for it to be released! I learned the hard way through a debilitating repetitive strain injury that working long, hard hours without enough self-care is not actually “good” for me, or anyone, so it’s back to self-care for me! And by the way, as soon as this shift in awareness happened, the overworking, procrastination, and rushing all went away.

Joanna Scaparotti helps wellness professionals thrive in life and business. She can be reached at joannascaparotti.com. Be yourself and change the world!