Who Or What Are You Breaking Yourself For?

I MUST BE MYSELF. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson,Self-Reliance

How long I lived a life not being myself. Or being ashamed of who I was because I was not loved for who I was. And I tried to be that person my first husband would love, but no matter who I shifted into, it was simply never enough. Or it was TOO much. I was too everything. Looking back, of all the things he said to me as we ended our 19 year marriage, it was this,I want to be with someone less powerful than you.

Me? Powerful? Never saw myself as powerful until my ex-husband told me that my powerfulness was something he could no longer live with.

I remember talking to my Aunt about this and she kindly reminded me that I come from a line of powerful women. All I have to do is spend a day with my Aunt and 3 of my cousins to realize that we are cut from that same powerful Scottish cloth.

And it helps to know that in God’s eyes, I am fearfully and powerfully made. That during my first marriage I lived a lie because I was not living up to the potential of my birth right.

When the love of my life and I re-met after 25 years, he told me, as we were staring at each other across the table at Dennys,you are the same bold girl I knew in high school. I knew as soon as he said that that I would never have to change who I am to be with him. That I don’t have to break myself for himor for anyone for that matter! And because my husband, my soul-mate loves me for me, we truly are happier because the feeling is mutual. I love him for him -there’s nothing I want changed. He is fearfully and powerfully made and I appreciate and honor his God given qualities.

It is our God given right to be loved for who and what we are. For we are each born with the Divine inside of us.

Are you breaking yourself for someone else? Are you with someone who wants you to change your tastes, your ways, your aversions? If you are, I invite you to Pause and ask yourself if you are worthy of being loved just as you are.