Resolve to choose

As the New Year begins, whether you are a resolution-making person or not, it is helpful to look back and askWhat could I have done differently to make my life or another’s better? I have always loved the John Lennon song at this time of yearanother year over, and what have you done?

As the year 2010 opens, my resolution is to err on the side of nice. I’ve been noticing lately how many media stories, blog responses, Youtube postings and other public information is filled with so much nastiness and anger. Even my teenager seems to choose angry over nice on a daily basis. I keep reminding her of my mother’s adage you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar but for some reason, the vinegar seems to taste better to her!

Doing some self-reflection, I realize that there are many, many times throughout the day that I also err off of the side of nice and on the side of anger. I can lose my temper when I see an erratic driver on the road rushing to get somewhere or cut me off, I sometimes snap when my children interrupt me when I’m working or trying to type an email at my computer, and woe to my husband at times if he doesn’t bring home exactly the brand of spaghetti that I asked for from the supermarket! I can’t blame it on PMS or the change of life either, there doesn’t seem to be a correlation between my emotional response and any hormonal one!

I think the basic truth is that, at times, it’s easier to be angry than it is to be nice. But, being nice feels so much better! This week I started my resolution early and became watchful about my actions and reactions. When I would see myself beginning to respond in an angry fashion, I put up the mental STOP! sign and made myself start over. I walked around with a smile on my face more often and went out of my way to be helpful and supportive. I admit it took some work! It wasn’t as easy as just resolving to be different. There were times I didn’t feel very well and just wanted to feel sorry for myself and take it out on others but, no instead I kept smiling.

What happened? I actually started to feel better overall. Happier, in fact. And, people were responding to me in an equally positive fashion. I got a note from someone saying howupbeat and enthusiastic I am and how much they love being around me. I could feel myself just sitting alone and smiling to myself I felt really good.

It made me wonder what would the world be like if everyone decided to err on the side of nice? Can we try it for just one day? The Society of Happy People is trying to engage a movement toward happiness. They blog and write about happy things and their membership is growing. How about you? For one day, can you choose nice over nasty? Can you catch yourself before you snap and smile instead? Try it let’s see if we can spread some niceness to start off 2010.

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