TZU-JAN TODAY

TZU-JAN TODAY19825TZU-JAN TODAYTZU-JAN TODAY

Acceptance is not submission:

it is acknowledgment of the fact of a situation.

Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.

-M. Kathleen Casey (sociologist)

Tzu-jan (pronounced sue-ron) is the Tao principle that translates toof itself so.

Life happens, transitions occur, changes pop into our lives whether we want them or not.

And we’d better know how to cope or our lives can become very difficult and fraught with unhappiness.

At a book signing several years ago, I encountered a woman (let’s call her Jan) with her twenty-something daughter (Lisa). Both stopped to see what was going on at the table set up for me by the Borders’ manager. There I was feeling a bit like a circus side-show, as my books were piled up in front of me and folks kindly purchased their autographed copies.

Jan, however, upon seeing the title of my book, Tao of the Defiant Woman, and learning that I was all about the acceptance of change in our lives, fled from me as fast as her Jimmy Choos would allow. But Lisa remained. And she shared with me part of her mother’s story:

After thirty-one years of marriage, Jan’s husband decided he was not happy at home and filed for divorce. This occurred three years prior to our meeting and Jan had yet to accept the fact that she was now a single woman while her ex was now remarried and had even become a father again.

There are many people involved in this tale; Jan, her ex, her ex’s new wife, their baby, and Lisa. Yet, the only one who Jan could see in the picture was herself. And she chose to see herself as the victim. Without acceptance we can never move on; we become mired in our denial of a situation and all forward movement ceases.

This is what happened to Jan. She desperately needed a good dose of acceptance. The divorce was painful, I understand that (been there myself), but life can ultimately full a rewarding no matter what the challenges are that we face. Jan is fortunate for she had the love and support of her daughter. Opportunities for women abound in this day and age. I only hope that Jan has since come to terms with her new single status, the fact of Tzu-jan and forged a new and exciting life for herself.

In future articles we’ll discuss just how Jan might have gone about creating that new and exciting life.

C.J. Golden is a motivational speaker, travels the country inspiring all with her dynamic spirit and vision as she helps others explore their unique journeys through life. She is an increasingly important voice in the field of women’s studies as her message resonates with women and girls everywhere. Following her first book Tao of the Defiant Woman, Tao-Girls around the country had long been anticipating Tao-Girls Rule! – which was published for teens and pre-teen girls in October 2009.

Visit CJ and connect with other Tao-Girls and Tao and defiant women at www.taogirl.com