Go With The Flow (March 8)

Go With The Flow

If we fight againstthe wavesthat pass over us in life,

we are overpowered.

If we move with the waves in life as roll over us,

the wave passes on.

– Pesikta Zurtarti

In the last article we read about Jan, the divorcee who refused to accept that she was, once again, a single gal. By not acknowledging her newly unmarried status, she stymied any forward growth as she continued to look back at the past and bemoan that which was no longer her life her once-married life.

Jan, like many of us, needed to recognize the Tao principle of Tzu-jan which tells us that the transitions are a natural part of life. With that acceptance she might have been able to move on toward a new and bright future.

It is one thing, however, to understand the nature of transitions and challenges in our lives, but quite another to accept them fully. While these transitions might be difficult to embrace, acknowledging that they are there to be dealt with results in the most productive outcome possible.

That is the principle of wu wei ( woo way), which translates intonot forcing.

Wu wei, is the Taoist way of reminding us to go with the flow, to accept what we cannot change and do the best with what we are given.

Picture a woman on an airplane assuming she’s traveling from New York to Chicago. There she is, settled in her seat, when the pilot announces that they will be arriving at their destination Tampa in a mere three hours.

Tampa? In the rush of passengers boarding the plane, someone had allowed her to get on the wrong flight. There is no way she can sprint up to the pilot and insist the plane be redirected to O’Hare International Airport. She cannot force the situation to be anything other than what it is: she is going to arrive in Chicago and have to find her way to Tampa from there. No amount of angst will change that fact. What she can do, however, is enjoy a cocktail or the in-flight movie and try to relax.

Is this a frivolous example? Sure it is. But you get the picturewe need to understand that there are just some things we cannot change.

By allowing our paths to flow in the direction intended, we relieve ourselves of unnecessary stress. Taoism does not recommend giving in or giving up. It does, however, advocate making the most of each situation in our lives without forcing matters to an unnatural and painful conclusion.

Certainly Jan’s circumstances are far more painful that our lady on the plane. The similarity is there, however, in the lessons of acceptance of the situation, and not forcing it to be other than it is.

In the next article we’ll see just how following wu wei would help Jan move forward with grace and resilience.

C.J. Golden, author of TAO OF THE DEFIANT WOMAN, and the award winning TAO-GIRLS RULE! is a motivational speaker who travels the country inspiring all with her dynamic spirit and vision as she helps others explore their unique journeys through life.

She is an increasingly important voice in the field of women’s studies as her message resonates with women and girls everywhere.

Visit CJ and connect with other Tao-Girls and Tao and defiant women at www.taogirl.com