No Money, No Honey, No Job
Stephanie age 30 was primed to settle down and enjoy being back in Boston. A native New Yorker, she was an East Coast woman in every way and armed with her newest degree; she was poised to make her professional debutonce again. Stephanie’s work history was checkered; interspersed with periods of frenzied volunteer activity, short term relationships, heartfelt re-evaluation and ultimately a return to school.
By the time Stephanie contacted me, she was exhausted, bored and somewhat discouraged while conceding that she needed to make some major changes personally and professionally. It had become increasingly clear to her that whatever she had been doing was not effective and that partnering with a professional life coach seemed like a way to get unstuck’ and move forward.
Typically I work with clients over the phone, scheduling appointments on an hourly basis over a period of several months. Sensing some discomfort from Stephanie with this arrangement, I suggested that we exchange photographs as a way to establish a quicker connection. At her request, we also made arrangements to meet for coffee.
The young woman who entered the restaurant was hardly the person whose picture I had in my files. Had it not been for her engaging smile, I would not have recognized Stephanie at all. In contrast, she was but a fraction of her former size. When I remarked on the difference in her overall appearance, she said that she had no other recent photos to share, and assumed that my confusion had to do with her new haircut.
As we spoke, Stephanie revealed that she while she had always excelled academically, she had paid little attention to her appearance, overall health and nutrition. She did not consider herself to be athletic and her peripatetic lifestyle contributed to this sense of always being on the run without running. As a student or employee, she was rarely in a place to plan her meals and food considerations were not a priority.
Weary of living in the future, Stephanie had expected her relocation to Boston and a corporate position in health care to provide more stability and an opportunity to catch her breath for awhile. Yet there was a nagging feeling that she was about to fall into the same old habits and in fact she was. She hated her new job, she had not had time to establish a circle of friends and she was boyfriend-less. The good news came in the form of an unexpected downsizing, subsequent layoff and as a result, a small cushion of cash. She had a limited window in which to find something part-time while she regrouped.
Without a car Stephanie was forced to shop locally and a health food market was nearby. Their high prices gave her the impetus to inquire about employment and she was hired to work with vitamins and dietary supplements. In this supportive environment, she had unconsciously altered her eating habits; hence the significant weight loss and increased energy. What was next?
An altered appearance can have a profound affect and Stephanie was in the midst of transformation on many levels. She was not comfortable in her body and had no real sense of it yet. At the same time she was willing to incorporate activity NOT fitness in her routine. Walking has no learning curve, is free and the speed and duration can be adjusted accordingly. Stephanie agreed to begin with hour daily, record her progress in a log and report back to me after one week. In addition, I requested that she jot down a word or phrase that came up for her on these forays.
Significant change can happen quickly when a client is willing to trust that discomfort can also provide tremendous learning. Attempting to fit the square peg in the round hole may fit for the short term but not support the full life experience that Stephanie was yearning for. At our next appointment she noted that she had been walking for miles in her neighborhood as well as taking public transportation to other places in order to venture out and learn about Boston. The log book had expanded to journaling and her thoughts returned to the importance of honoring her values around contribution, leadership and community.
Greater self-confidence and a work environment with more grounded people were giving Stephanie the space she needed for the next series of challenges. If walking was great, what else could assist her in reconciling her weight loss with a new self image? In the past, she summarily refused to participate in a structured activity. However, on our next call Stephanie mentioned that a co-worker who also taught yoga classes, had invited her to attend, and now she was hooked. In fact, she was so attracted to this discipline that she was taking multiple classes and looking forward to assisting at others so as to keep the cost low.
Over the next three months, our coaching focused on broadening Stephanie’s definition of the usefulness of her previous academic training in business and healthcare and its wider application. Since the corporate settings of the past had not been satisfying, she began to design and teach classes in other venues discovering both the quiet entrepreneur within and the yoga master to be.
Maureen Weisner, M.Ed., PCC, is president of Women Living on the Edge of Change. We provide one on one personal and executive coaching, creating a partnership with our clients as they identify the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. Together we design, strategize, and implement a structure for the client to work from in achieving her goals and the motivational strategies to support those transitions. We are expert in customizing unique workshops, seminars, and keynotes for groups, focusing on how change impacts our lives from moment to moment and for the long term.
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