The Key to Letting Go of Mommy Guilt – Self Love
Empowerment begins the day you are willing to open your mind and reassess what you think youknow for sure. Our beliefs are evolving all the time. We only believe we knowhow life really is. We’ve been taught, even this is done usually unconsciously, to put ourselves down and to judge harshly almost everything we do.
It could be the way we dress, what we read, our career choices, how we look, our hair even how we mother and raise our children. The list is never ending. There are many reasons why this happens. What I want to focus on here though is a major concept as to how to stop judgment in its tracks. It’s calledself-acceptance.
Self-love is not the same as narcissism. It is simply having compassion and the flexibility to allow yourself to grow and unfold. Where you are is where you are in consciousness today and that evolves. I am the mother of two teenagers, and of course I’ve given them my best.
One piece of wisdom I’ve come to understand is that in any given moment, I am operating out of my own level of understanding and how I feel about myself influences my perception of self and others. This is alwaysby best as I cannot see through any other filter but my own mind and brain.
There is an article today in the Huffington Post, Negotiating Mommy Guilt vs Mommy Wisdom, and it speaks about theinner critic that we all have. Where does this critic come from? Some of the voices are our own stories and versions ofhow life is that started in early childhood. Some are from our ancestors via the gene pool. Some are from those rigid, small-minded teachers in grade school.
Where are they hiding out? In your memory, the memory held in your body at a cellular level. In fact, there is an area of the brain called the area ofautobiographical memory the story of who you think you are.
We can really empower ourselves as women as we understanding more about this new brain science. When you do not separate your sense of self from these memories, you come to accept that they are YOU that they are TRUE. No, they are judgments, opinions and misconceptions. The essence of you is without definition per se. It is infinite in it’s potential and what unique gifts and talents you desire to express in your lifetime are often buried under these memories, or stories.
The stories of who you think you are. As I have come to be able to separate my sense of self from my thoughts and having an understanding of my brain and its function which did accelerate this process I have come to be able to forgive these stories and release the energy they carry, the feelings, from my body.
When you become familiar with what energy is and how it is theblueprint for everything, you can grow at a much faster pace. As Quantum Physics will tell youeverything is energy. Now I can operate withMommy Wisdom even better and more consistently without the tyrant of guilt speaking in my head.
Self-love is the antidote and the key to having more love to give to others, especially our children. Learning to love and accept yourself is one of the greatest gifts a mom can give to her child. Remember children learn by what we do, not what we say, they are empowered by example. They are more observant and intuitive than we give them credit for most of the time. What do you think?
Valencia Ray, M.D. teaches business owners and corporate leaders how their amazing brain can actually hijack personal power — not in the abstract, but in the context of integrating business and personal life. Dr. Ray, a board-certified eye surgeon and medical business owner for over 20 years before selling her practice, shares her own life changing process. By sharing her story, she helps others to expand their vision and learn that by living with purpose and confidence, it is possible to have a more integrated, healthier lifestyle – with less struggle, more inner peace and more abundance.
For more information and to contact her regarding dynamic, inspirational keynotes, trainings in collaborative leadership and team building, entrepreneurship and coaching programs, visit her website at http://www.ValenciaRay.com


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